Coming Out

I suppose it’s time I made a confession: I’m gay.  If that comes as a bit of a surprise to you, imagine how I feel – I mean, here I am, married with children and gay all along.  My list of conquests is pretty long and sordid too – various members of touring cricket teams, friends on stag nights, a vast array of people at school and, most appallingly of all, my own brother for years when I was a child.

 

If only I had realised sooner that the act of sharing a room with someone automatically gays you, we could all have been saved this unpleasant little charade.