Saturday, February 04, 2006

A Long Overdue PJ Post

While doing a professional degree in a London University, I remember having a beautiful argument about the difference between conservatives and leftists. Eventually I tired of the perpetual merry-go-round of individualism against collectivism and freedom against security and invoked the might of PJ's allegorical skill. I went for the 'Why God is a Republican and Santa Claus is a Democrat' argument from Parliament of Whores.

'God is an elderly, or at any rate, middle aged male, a stern fellow, patriarchal rather than paternal and a great believer in rules and regulations. He holds men strictly accountable for their actions. He has little apparent concern for the material well-being of the disadvantaged. He is politically connected, socially powerful and holds the mortgage on literally everything in the world. God is difficult. God is unsentimental. It is very hard to get into God's heavenly country club.

Santa Claus is another matter. He's cute. He's nonthreatening. He's always cheerful. And he loves animals. He may know who's been naughty and who's been nice, but he never does anything about it. He gives everyone everything they want without thought of a quid pro quo. He works hard for charities, and he's famously generous to the poor. Santa Claus is preferable to God in every way but one: There is no such thing as Santa Claus.'

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