Curse of Cameron
Since DC became PM, Andy Murray has: been the first British Wimbledon men's finalist for 74 years, the first British men's grand slam title since 1936, an Olympic gold medallist and now, gloriously, Wimbledon champion - the first since Fred Perry 77 years ago. Laura Robson, meanwhile, has risen from 260 in the world to 27.
Curse rating: You Cannot Be Serious
Since DC became PM, England have won the Ashes away for the first time since 1986/7; white-washed India at home to become the world's number one Test side; beaten India away in a Test series for the first time in 28 years, and have lost only two of the twelve test series they've played.
Curse rating: Not Out
Two words really: Best Olympics Ever. OK, three but you know what I mean.
Curse rating: C'mon
England won the 2011 Six Nations, Wales won a Grand Slam in 2012, and won again in 2013. OK, so that's largely a domestic matter. How have the home nations done against Southern Hemisphere opposition?
Curse rating: Offside
I think there was some sort of international cup in 2012 wasn't there? And England were mostly rubbish. So that's presumably Cameron's fault - just like the rubbish World Cup in 2010. And the rubbish Euro 2008, World Cup 2006, Euro 2004 and so on and so on.