Thursday, November 13, 2008

Obama - now at La Scala

This is simply magnificent.

L’Obama, ossia L’Avvento del Messia
Opera in Tre Atti

Personaggi:

Barracco Obama, Il Messia, Redentore del Mondo.....................................Tenore Miracoloso
Santa Micaela della Revoluzione, sua sposa............................................Soprano Amaro
Giovanni Maccheno, Senatore, Avversario dello Obama..............................Basso Buffo
Sara Palino, Governatrice del Alaska e Reginetta di Bellezza........................Coloratura Buffa
Guglielmo Priapo, Ex-Presidente........................................................Tenore Mentitore
Hillaria, sua Sposa, altra Avversaria dello Obama....................................Soprano Ambizioso
Elena Tomasso, una strega..............................................................Contralto Venenoso
Giuseppe Bideno, “Piedimbocca”......................................................Tenore Buffo
Il Spirito di Giorgio Secondo, L‘Abominazione........................................Baritono Cattivo
Il Spirito di Ruscio Limbago, Bocca Grande............................................Basso Noioso
Jeremia Ritto, un uomo pazzo, pastore dello Obama.................................Basso Demagogico
Guglielmo Ayers, terroristo Americano, amico dello Obama.........................Tenore Anarchico
Un Sempliciotto...........................................................................Tenore Profetica

Il Popolo, La Media Elite, Il Mondo, Il Congresso, Terroristi.


ATTO PRIMO
La Piazza del Cattedrale di Washington.

It is the day after the election. Outside the Washington Cathedral, the People and La Media Elite celebrate the victory of Barracco Obama over his adversary, Giovanni Maccheno (Coro: “Esultate! Il Messia è venuto!”). The World enters and joins The People in their celebration, singing their own chorus rejoicing in the fact that Obama’s election will hasten the demise of American power and influence (“America è in debolezza, evviva!”) The two choruses swell and merge in a powerful contrapuntal choral episode. As the chorus reaches its climax, trumpets herald the arrival of Lord Obama the Most Merciful, who enters with his wife, Santa Micaela della Revoluzione and his retinue. The crowd becomes frenzied, with some falling in a swoon (“Obama! Obama! Redentore del Mondo! Io manco!”). Obama heals two lepers and resurrects the dead daughter of a Washington policeman.
He then addresses the crowd (“Nel posar sul mio capo la corona”). At the sound of his voice, the crowd falls silent, gazing up at him with adoring, vacant expressions. In an eloquent aria, Obama promises that the dark days of the Tyrant, Giorgio Secondo, are over (“Dopo si lunga notte”) and a new Golden Age will dawn for the world under his rule (“Un siglo d’oro è venuto”): the economy shall heal, America’s enemies shall beat their bomb jackets into plowshares, the lame shall walk, there will be a chicken in every pot, the whole world shall have universal health care, all the prisoners in Guantanamo Bay will be released, and planes shall arrive and take off on schedule. Each stanza of this great aria is punctuated by the chorus (“Ohmmm! Salvatore!”) At its conclusion, Obama invites The People and The World to a celebration at which he will personally change the water into wine and feed the guests with seven croissants and five grande lattes. He enters the cathedral for his coronation, followed by the crowd.

From the right, Giovanni Maccheno and Sara Palino enter the deserted piazza. Giovanni laments his loss of the election to Barracco Obama (“O mia vergogna!”). In a rambling, boring monologue sung in a monotone, he recites his brave history on the battlefield (“Si, fui soldato!”) and wonders why this was not enough to get him elected 30 years later. In a lilting refrain (“Tu sei troppo vecchio”), Sara Palino suggests that it might be because he’s a worn-out old has-been with the excitement level of a rusty AAA battery. She reminds him of her own qualifications for Vice-President (“Può vedere Russia dalla mia casa”) and what a help she has been to him. To cheer him up, the perky Sara launches into one of the best known arias in the score, the brilliant coloratura Polonaise “Io son Regina di Bellezza,” in which she sings of her experience as a beauty pageant contestant. But Giovanni is inconsolable: in a touching duet, he and Sara lament how they will now have to go wandering across the country, begging for speaking engagements (“Andrem raminghi è poveri”). Suddenly Giovanni hears someone approaching (“Ohimé, s’appressa alcun!”) and he and Sara hide behind a column.

From the left enter former President Guglielmo Priapo and his termagant wife, Hillaria. Hillaria is furious over her defeat at the hands of L’Obama in the primaries. In a passionate outburst ranging up to a shrill, wobbly high C, she rages that the Prize was within her grasp (“È mio! È tutto mio!”), but she was betrayed by La Media Elite who abandoned her for
un altro amore. Must she live to see this upstart novice on the throne while she languishes in boring Senate committee meetings? Is it for this that she has suffered public humiliation and eaten shit sandwiches served by her husband for the past 35 years? No, it is too much! (È troppo! non reggo! soffoco!”) Gugliemo counsels patience: her day will come, and L’Obama will overreach himself. He tells Hillaria that he has a plan to get them both back in la Casa Bianca, where she can rule while he chases interns. Just then he spots Guglielmo and Sara off to the side, and he begins to make a move on Sara. He tells her she is a real babe, and this develops into the famous Quartet, “Bella figlia dell’Alaska:” Guglielmo tries to grope Sara; Sara tells him a joke about lipstick on pitbulls; Hillaria sings that her day of vengeance will come; and Guglielmo stutters, in repetitive phrases, how Obama will raise everyone’s taxes and endanger national security.

When the Quartet ends, the crowd surges out of the cathedral, proclaiming the new Messiah, followed by L’Obama in full regalia. A powerful concluding ensemble ensues: The People, the World and La Media Elite acclaim L’Obama; Barracco heals a lame man and exults in his new power; Giovanni Maccheno whines about the ingratitude of the American People while Sara Palino practices her baton twirling; Guglielmo plans that evening’s rendezvous with his new cutie, while Hillaria plots her comeback. Unnoticed in the background, a small group of Islamic terrorists rejoice in Obama’s election. Everyone then exits to follow Obama to the Reflecting Pool which he will walk on down the Mall to meet Il Congresso at Il Capitole.

The piazza is deserted and silent once more. Now enters the Simpleton, a crazy homeless man pushing a shopping cart filled with old newspapers. He sings a keening lament, weeping for the Motherland and the bitter years that lie ahead.

END OF ACT ONE

Go and read the rest of the synopsis, pure genius…  (Hat tip to Alex Massie)

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