An almost perfect parody of Simon Heffer's style in Saturday's Telegraph
turns out to have been written by, um, Heffer himself. First there's the now familiary 'elaborate words' error:
I thought Mayor Johnson of London was smart enough to avoid hostages to fortune, but his pledge to tackle knife crime has been followed by a hecatomb of stabbings in London since his election.
, a hecatomb is a word derived from the ancient Greek hekatómbê meaning a sacrifice to the gods of 100 cattle (hecaton = one hundred). It is not a unit of general scale. Sheesh.
There's also a delightful peek into the Heffer view on law and order.
We are dealing with people who regard human life as dirt cheap, so locking them up with computer games and pornography and throwing away the key is hardly going to deter them. If whoever killed Jimmy Mizen, a harmless 16-year-old, last Saturday morning had thought he might instead go to the end of a rope, can we be so sure Jimmy would not be alive today?
Most judges do see the need to protect the public and to imprison criminals. If the Government is upset about this, it should simply construct more prisons - perhaps like PoW camps on our remoter islands.
Yup, lets kill some of them, and send the rest to the Falkland Islands. The smiling face of Hefferite conservatism.
Labels: Heffer, Media, politics