Matthew Parris

Consider me a joined-up member of the fan club. Alastair Campbell refers in his diaries to the great man as the little shit Parris. Parris's response?

"I'd rather be a little shit than a big cunt," says Parris, 57, now, technically, a colleague of Campbell, who writes for the sports pages of the Times. "I'd better say no more than than that."

Matthew Parris, soon to be seen as a contributor to the Devil's Kitchen.