The phrase "horrorism", which you invented to describe 9/11, is unintentionally hilarious. Have you got any more? JONATHAN BROOKS, by email
Yes, I have. Here's a good one (though I can hardly claim it as my own): the phrase is "fuck off".
Such talent expressed in so few words!
UPDATE: He's a snarky little so and so...
Whats the worst thing that's ever happened to you? NESA GARDEZI, by email
One day I returned home from a book tour in the US, and I noticed that the leading edge of the toilet roll in the bathroom wasn't folded into an inviting V - as it was in all those American hotels.
Not only that. I then had a tedious five minutes issuing instructions about the new arrangement to my wife.