Breaking news...

Tessa Jowell has announced her separation from her husband David Mills. The minister said that this was entirely proper and she had never realised that she was married to the lawyer in the first place. "Our personal lives are entirely separate - how could I have known we were married. I have done nothing wrong, unless you count being a serial money-launderer." Ms Jowell said yesterday.

In other news, a large number of mammals of the genus rattus rattus were spotted deserting a ship in Southampton Dock. The ship appeared to be listing to port. Asked for his views a bearded man wearing sandals commented "Greater love hath no man than this, that he lays down his friends for his life."