Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Rebellious Scots to Crush

Not content with bowdlerising the national anthem, those pesky caledonians are now agitating against the BBC's choice of anthem for the World Cup. Whinging Scots are complaining that it's discriminatory and offensive, because it celebrates the Duke of Cumberland, whose military victory over the Catholic Jacobin rebels at Culloden marked the end of French-subsidised, Scottish attempts to install a Stuart on the throne of Britain.

Predictably the miserable buggers at the SNP are behind this. Rob Gibson described the piece (usually known as 'See the Conquering Hero Come') as a "symbol of oppression" and described the piece by the German-born composer as betraying an "anglocentric view of the world and of music."

Well, in my opinion, they can all go piss up a rope. Firstly, Scotland aren't in the World Cup (again) and thus an Anglocentric tune would have been fine. Secondly, music by Handel is hardly bloody Anglocentric. Thirdly, why the fuck can't they grow up and stop whining? Aren't they content that the Home Secretary, Chancellor and Transport Secretary are all bloody Scots? That the entire fucking country is effectively subsidised by Londoners? There is, of course only one song that should have been chosen:

The English, the English, the English are best:
I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest!
The rottenest bits of these islands of ours,
We've left in the hands of three unfriendly powers,
Examine the Irishman, Welshman or Scot,
you'll find he's a stinker as likely as not.

The Scotsman is mean, as we 're all well aware,
And bony and blotchy and covered with hair,
He eats salted porridge, he works all the day,
And he hasn't got bishops to show him the way.

The English; the English, the English are best:
I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest!

UPDATE: Cheers to the P-G, that'll teach me to cut and paste...


Blogger The Pedant-General said...


"You'll find he's a stinker as likely as not"

At least that's the version I know
(which also scans properly).

You have also left out the best bits of that particular song...

Toodle Pip!

10:26 am  
Blogger Mr Eugenides said...

There's a bar in Glasgow with the Duke of Cumberland's name inscribed on the urinal for customers to aim at. It's something which still arouses strong passions among some, and not just SNP bores.

That said, if it pisses off the troglodytes of the SNP, I say go for it. For that lot to describe it as a symbol of "oppression" is simply embarassing.

I'll still be cheering on Trinidad, mind you.

10:40 am  
Blogger Floreat Aula said...

My Irish friends - who perhaps might follow their own advice - have words of wisdom for the Sweaties: build a bridge and get over it!

11:29 am  
Blogger Numptie said...

This is just the sort of drivel I would expect to pour forth from a "Little Englander", may I suggest that he would find a welcome home with those "nice" people over at the Cross of St. George forum...

12:29 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Scots are a fine one to complain, when their own anthem is offensive to the English.

5:16 pm  
Blogger Devil's Kitchen said...

If you're talking about Flower of Scotland, it's deeply offensive to the ear as well. The Scots are not allowed to comment on music: there is simply no excuse for the fucking bagpipes.


10:43 am  
Blogger The Pedant-General said...

ah but DK: you still chose to live here. Let's face it: Edinburgh is a nicer place to live than London.


Calm down dear: it's a joke. Some of us are big enough and confident enough to laugh at it.

Whilst I applaud the valuable service you render as a sort of CoSG-Watch, I think the strain of doing so might be taking its toll.

Chill out. That's what I say. They're all just jealous that we have worked out how to fleece them with impunity.

Let's face it: we managed to get the English taxpayer to stump up for the construction of the numptorium: I mean - how gullible can you get?



11:57 am  

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